Why??

Why? It's a big question... and the only word chasing me like a ghost!! Why am I not normal? Why cant I lead a normal simple life? Why do I think so much? What makes me keep thinking about unnecessary things? Or do I even know if those things are necessary or not? Why do I keep getting lost in thoughts when I am sitting with a group of lovable people? Why do I keep thinking about "why it is happening?"? Do I live in past? Do I live in present? Or do I always dream about future? Why I feel I am depressed? Why does this depression chase me? Why I wanna escape and be alone when I am surrounded by people? Why I wanna be with some one when I am alone? Why cant I just shout whenever I want to? Why cant I dance wherever I want to? Why cant I cry whomever in front of I am? Why I try to show people I am strong? Whenever anyone finds out I am actually weak in my heart, why do I make them believe that I am not WEAK? Why do i have fear of people, society? Why there is a society? Why cant there be people like in ancient days there used to be? Why do I hate plastic smile on some ones face? Why do I have to give plastic smile to that person next moment? Why cant there be peace always? Why cant people be nice always? Why cant people just love and forgive? Why there is hatred always ? Why do people doubt? Why do I doubt? Why do I feel jealous? Why do I feel sad...very very sad.. about everything??? Why do I feel suffocated sometimes sitting underneath the sky? Why do I feel open minded and free even when I am locked in a room? Why do I have so terrible mood swings? Every now and then... Why .. why.. why... I hate this... I myself cant adjust with it sometimes... Why I feel restless most of the times in a day.. Why cant I stick to something what I have decided? Why do I just go with the flow always... Always... Why people influence me very much?? :( Why am I dependent on people.. on stupid things like cell, net even on the clip that I tie my hair with? LOL!! Why cant I just run away. Far far away from everything... from everyone... Why do I care for everyone so much? What makes me think about others? Why I want to keep every one happy around me..? Why do I even bore them with my extreme caring..? I even know it.. Why cant I ask something for me.. just for me..? Why cant I demand things easily ? Even if I demand I get scared.. why..? Thinking about if that person is in trouble or not for what I asked? Is there anyone who can answer a single question?? Anyone.. ?? Actually I would love to know if there is anyone who is actually reading this crap?? Phew!!!!!!